Naggers. They’re like a talking
gnat that just won’t go away.
They come and remind us of our
failings and unfulfilled commitments at the most inopportune
times — often when we might be enjoying ourselves.
It might be a boss who
micromanages everything to death and wants a detailed progress
report on that big project every hour.
It might be a spouse who seems to
make mowing the lawn out to be some life-or-death situation
every other weekend.
In whatever guise they come,
naggers can suck the joy right out of life — with by the hour
updates required along the way.
If we all know that nagging is an
irritating trait, why do naggers do it? Don’t they know when
they’re stepping over the line and causing grief rather than
raising an actual concern about whether or not something has
Unfortunately, most don’t.
There’s no intent to be
irritating; they’re truly raising a concern about something that
troubles them in some way.
At the end of the day, it boils
down to trust. If an employer trusts his or her employees to get
the job right and on time, there would be no need to constantly
check on the status of the project.
If a spouse trusted a partner to
fulfill the obligations of maintaining a home and the
relationship, nagging wouldn’t be an issue.
A lack of faith, either irrational
or due to past failures of people to fulfill their obligations,
causes people to resort to nagging.
So how does one stop it?
First, be honest about whether
it’s deserved. Does the nagging stem from past failures to do
what you promised? Perhaps it stems from present patterns of
destructive, unhealthy, or dangerous behavior. If so, then the
people in your life who care about you have the right and
obligation to nudge, nag, and yell if necessary to get you to
stop sabotaging yourself.
If you truly can be counted on to
do what you commit to do, or the nagging is about insignificant
behavior, then it’s time to have a talk with the nagger.
Naggers tend to be very organized
and don’t feel comfortable when things are not exactly as they
think things should be. They tend not to realize that everyone
doesn’t see the world as they do, so they believe that everyone
else sees the need for organization the same as them.
Make a pact with the nagger that
you will fulfill your obligations to the best of your ability if
they will drop the constant reminders.
To Your Success ,
P.S. Get the nagger to agree on a price to be paid by the
first one who fails to keep his or her end of the deal. Whether
it be a massage courtesy of your nagging spouse, or a lunch at
your favorite restaurant courtesy of your nagging boss, they'll
listen far more closely to their nagging when there's a
consequence for it.
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